


My Sincerest Apologies

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Ghosts, M/M, Poltergeists, Suicide Attempt, this is vv sad I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-10-31 11:32:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10898481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: AU where Eliza dies before Alexander and she meets Alex's old friend and now poltergeist, John in the afterlife.Alex is left alone with his four children as a single parent and he still has to help run the country with Washington about to leave his position as president and still getting tortured by Jefferson and his other co-workers.





	1. You are My Sunshine

“Mom?” Eliza’s head shot up at the noise, her entire body felt numb and disconnected from reality, all she remembered was being sick on her deathbed with Alexander, Angelica, Peggy and the kids by her side, though she remembered uttering her last words hours ago, or at least she assumed it was hours, and now she was in a field hanging over New York with two men in front of her.

“Mom!? What are you doing here!” Eliza gasped out loud, covering her mouth with her semi-transparent hands as Philip ran towards her, his body shimmering bright transparent purple with a rough blood-like texture to it, he skipped towards her and pulled her into a hug.

“Mom you I’ve been waiting for you for so long but… I didn’t want you to come this early!” Philip begged, sobbing gently into Eliza’s chest.

“My son…” Eliza whispered, hanging her head low as she was squeezed, though she felt nothing physically her heart was throbbing uncontrollably.

“Welcome to limbo Eliza, it’s been a while, Pip, come here, she needs her space.” The other man requested, stepping towards Philip and gently pulling him away from Eliza much to his disarray.

“John Laurens?” Eliza asked with an unrecognizable expression on her face, John simply nodded, his body was shimmering a bright orange with the same bloody texture as Philip’s, one of his eyes was covered in ghostly pale flowers, his entire body was torn up, trampled and bloody.

“I give you my blessings, dying certainly isn’t easy.” John responded, his old edge Eliza remembered seemed to have numbed as John simply lead Philip closer to Eliza and allowed Pip and himself to embrace Eliza, she didn’t even realize until then that she was crying.

“I-I’m dead?” Eliza asked stupidly, staring down at her shimmering cyan hands and noticing the sickly texture it housed, very different to that of Philip’s and John’s thick, bloody one. 

“Yes!” Philip exclaimed with a loud sob, John simply pulled back and gave the two space, his face had an obviously fake smile on it as he stepped away from the two even more until he was near a large crab apple tree, sitting down and counting the flowers on his face one by one.

“Y-you died from illness, I was watching you but I-I was too sad to watch it happen, I’m sorry momma, it had to have hurt.” Philip mourned, his head hanging low with a large frown on it.

“Philip, my dear, there is no need to mourn, it was bound to happen anyways- say, now that I’m here we can finally talk again, I’m sure you have much to say to me, you always had so much on your mind, just like… A-Alexander.” Eliza stuttered out, her heart sinking deep into her chest as she spoke her husband’s name, all the ups and downs they had and all she wanted to do for him was now ruined, and he was alone with the children.

“D-do you want to meet some of my friends? I mean, besides John, he’s already met you I think, he was Papa’s old friend.” Philip wiped the tears away from his eyes and pulled out of the hug, twirling Eliza around enthusiastically, like he would when he saw an interesting looking trinket in the marketplace when he was young.

“That would be wonderful, Philip.” Eliza smiled sweetly, taking Philip’s hand and watching as Pip stepped into the fake air and floated, pulling Eliza up with her so her nightgown was flowing in the fictional wind.

“Aaron Burr’s daughter, Theodosia is here, we’ve grown… C-close.” Philip stuttered out, putting a hand on his cheek as he dragged Eliza along, she chuckled and ruffled Philip’s puffy hair, still not used to the feeling of not feeling anything more than a small static touch.

The two skipped through the meadows, each jump was more like flying with the lack of gravity holding their incorporeal bodies down, soldiers and other ghostly men and women floated, talking and laughing with each other or even showing loving compassion for each other, a few of them waved at Eliza, that’s when she noticed all of them were fallen American soldiers and their wives, parents and sickly children.

“Theo! My mom’s here!” Philip shouted, drifting over to two ladies in lacy dresses, Theodosia senior had a large smile on her face as Eliza skated into view with her usual grace Angelica had taught to her when she was young, the two adults quickly hugged each other, laughing.

“Philip’s been telling me all about how you’ve been doing and I’ve been waiting for ages to finally see you again, it’s been too long, Eliza!” Theodosia exclaimed with a large cheeky smile on her face, the one she had always worn before she too was stuck on her deathbed, her body was a light pastel magenta with the same sickly texture as Eliza’s.

“It’s good to see your face once more Theodosia, is this your daughter? She’s all grown up!” Eliza remarked as Philip’s pale purple face flushed red as Theo Jr chuckled and did a small curtsy before Eliza, her skin was a brighter purple and consistency looked much like water.

“That’s my sunflower, your son has taken quite the liking to her.” Theodosia chuckled, Theo Jr joined in with a hearty laugh causing Philip to cross his arms and turn away, he wasn’t much of a smooth flirty type now that he was dead.

“And I’ve taken quite the liking to your son!” Theo proclaimed, grabbing Philip’s hand and pulling him into a close embrace, Eliza smiled warmly, it was nice to see her son could find love in a hard place, being the only one in his family that had died.

“That’s my little chicklet.” Eliza teased, Philip groaned and facepalmed.

“Mooommmm” He droned, grabbing his mother’s arm and hugging close to her.

“Well since your father isn’t up here yet you’re going to need someone to tease you, pumpkin!” Eliza pinched Philip’s cheek and kissed his other cheek, Philip simply grabbed her arm and floated her away from the laughing Theodosias.

“I already have John teasing me when he isn’t moping around,” Philip grumbled, floating Eliza back to the hill she first appeared in, John was still lying underneath the tree, giving an apathetic look to the world around him with his uncovered eye, there was blood slowly spilling out of his lip, Eliza pouted at this and gave Philip a troubled look, Philip just shrugged.

“I’m gonna go hang out with Theo.” Philip traipsed out of view in a hurry, leaving Eliza and John alone, she took a deep breath before approaching the immobile ghost.

“John, is everything alright?” Eliza asked, taking a seat next to John under the crabapple tree, John turned to face away from Eliza with a small grumble.

“I don’t trust you being up here.” John deadpanned, shuffling slightly under the tree to face Eliza with a hurt expression on his face.

“I… I don’t understand?” Eliza was taken aback by John’s sudden mistrust of her, had she done something wrong to cause John’s distress? She scanned across his body looking for something to note on, only noting the fact that most of his ghostly holes were currently bleeding and his flowers sagged miserably.

“You never did, you were always just Alexander’s lover, the one he cares about the most, am I wrong? I was no more than a pawn to him, right?” John mumbled, hugging his knees to his chest.

“I- what are you implying Laurens?-” Eliza took in a sharp breath of air, clutching her forehead and leaning back against the tree only to partially phase through it.

“Think about it, Elizabeth, Alexander’s helpless without you, but he survived ‘perfectly’ when I died, didn’t he? I was no more than a bump in your road to loving Alex, so to you, me dying was probably a big relief! Haha, unfortunately, it wasn’t a relief to the man you claim to love, because Alex isn’t there anymore!” John stated flatly, crossing his arms and legs until he was in a criss-cross sitting stance, floating barely over the grass.

“John… Please do not imply such things-” John grabbed Eliza’s wrist and pulled her up so they were eye-to-eye.

“You know so little about Alex, you just let him rot down there after I went, you’ve honestly never noticed the signs!? He doesn’t sleep, he gives his food to the other kids when your back is turned, he’s been doing that since I died Eliza, he’s down there suffering because of you and me!” John shouted, pushing Eliza away so he could cough multiple times, blood staining the grass that Eliza went to clean up, only to phase through it, it had become corporeal.

“John! Please! He still has Hercules and Lafayette and the kids! Lafayette was going to go to his house in a week, they’ll both be fine, they were when you died!” Eliza tried her best to calm down only to be pinned down to the ground by John with an indescribable expression glued to his face, a few petals fell off his face as his left eye welled up with tears.

“Isn’t that right!? They were fine when I died! Weren’t they!? When I just told you what he used to do! But then suddenly you imply that he’ll be fine when his wife died, Eliza he loves you, god damn it! He loves you more than he’d ever love me, and I’ve accepted that! Now you’ve got to get that through your head before he appears in the field!” John shouted in Eliza’s face, breathing heavily as blood fell right through Eliza’s body, she was just lying there, blank and emotionless.

“John… Please, John, he locked himself in his office for a week when you died, he just needed time, he still loves you!” Eliza protested, John simply leaned closer, his breath causing her to feel a warm sensation on her cheek, his teeth clenched like a rabid dog.

John took a moment to consider something before letting Eliza go, his eye was puffy and shimmering red as he stepped backwards a few times, wiping his mouth only to have more blood drip from it, he stood there, his body looked as if it were trampled by a horse as he clenched his gut and hissed as a flower grew right next to his ear.

“John…” Eliza made a choked sob as she stepped forward to hug John, only to have him step back and growl under his breath like he was some sort of canine.

“I loved him, Eliza… I didn’t love the Alexander you love, I love Alex, someone you’ve obviously never met.” John hissed, drifting away from Eliza with an arched back, blood spilling out of his lip at an alarming rate.

“John, please… Please come back!” Elizabeth begged, stepping forwards once more to try and pull John back into a loving hug, he huffed and continued to float away until he was moving at an alarming rate like he was afraid of something.

“Eliza leave me alone for god sakes!” John shouted once more, the two were in the city at this point.

“John, just talk to me! We don’t need to fight over this!” Eliza begged as John drifted through a wall and entered a house only to stop dead in his tracks, Eliza did the same as they simply floated there and took in sharp breaths.

Alexander was in the middle of the living room, sobbing uncontrollably and chanting out Eliza’s name, his hands gripped the carpet Eliza cross-stitched, his fists were beaten and bloody and there was a large dent in the wall close to him, a few pots were smashed onto the floor as well as a painting of Philip, the children weren’t in the house, he was just there in a pool of his own tears and blood, there was a white flower in his hair, one exactly like John’s.

“WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!” Alexander shouted, tossing and turning until he stood up, staring up to the ceiling and wailing curses and shouts at it until he collapsed once more into the pile of shattered pots, cutting up his hands and body until he began to make a high-pitched scream.


	2. My Only Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> : ) Might delete this idk

“We need to contact Hercules.” John stated, clapping his hands together and cocking his head towards the city once more, dragging his feet off the ground so he could float to the edge of the green cliffside   
  
“How? We’re ghosts!” Eliza protested before she began to float her away from the tree so she was floating by the edge with John, she looked down into the lake below the cliff and danced through the wind until she was just barely hovering over the lake, her nightgown flapping in the ghost wind, John was by her side now, staring into the water she noticed John had a true reflection, she did not.    
  
“You may be a ghost, I’m a poltergeist, Elizabeth.” John turned his head to face Eliza who had a largely confused grin on her face, she grabbed John’s arm and began to pull him through the city.   
  
Moving faster was probably one of the best parts of being a ghost, the ability to have such omnipotence over everyone yet still only just be a whisper in the wind intrigued Eliza, of course, but with such speed it made ghostly missions like this much easier, even if John was overall a stronger ghost- or poltergeist as he had said, it made her feel powerful. They had managed to reach Herc’s house in the span of five minutes when it was a thirty-minute horse ride from Alexander’s house and an hour long walk.    
  
“Alrighty, Hercules.” John whistled a small tune as he kicked the door down, or at least he pretended to as he phased right through it, Eliza did the same and the two ghosts flew into the living room where Herc was sewing a beautiful looking gown on his desk, John took a moment to take a deep breath before he floated to the fireplace and picked up one of the old, dusty candle holders and slamming it on the ground.   
  
“Jesus Christ!” Herc yelped, dropping his sewing equipment and jumping back in shock, John picked up the candle holder and slammed it on the ground a few more times until Hercules was looking straight at it with tears in his eyes.   
  
“Listen up moron.” John fake-spoke to Hercules as he floated over to the desk and picked up his inkwell, dipping his fingers into it and floating it over to the wall, Herc’s eyes followed the seemingly floating inkwell as he whispered curses under his breath.   
  
“Write a message on the wall!” Eliza suggested, John shrugged and began to drag his finger across the walls of the house until there was a message shining in the darkness, John stepped back so he could watch Hercules read it, his eyes widening as he read more.   
  
_ Hey asshole,  _ **_Alex_ ** _ is in trouble in his household, go help him since I can only touch non-living objects and smack things with ink - J.Laurens  _ _   
_ __   
Hercules shrieked and hugged the arm of his chair as he stared at the letter John had finger-painted onto the wall, breathing as heavily as he could as John threw another candle holder on the ground, causing Herc to quickly stand up and rush to the door.   
  
“Christ John you scared the living daylights out of him!” Eliza scolded, smacking John on the shoulder, John stuck his tongue out and followed Hercules out of the house, only to float back for a moment to grab Herc’s coat that he forgot in his frantic rush and drape it over his shoulders as he kept running.   
  
“Okay… Okay I just… M-my dead friend just… What the hell is going on!?” Hercules stopped for a moment to catch his breath and fix his coat, he was sweating heavily as John did a few anxious somersaults in the air as he waited for Hercules to continue sprinting until he reached his small home stable and hopped on his horse, galloping into the city as fast as he could, which wasn’t at all faster than John or Eliza.   
  
“Should we go ahead and check on Alexander?” Eliza said, John bit his lip and made a hesitant nod as the two began to speed past Herc’s horse, two minutes it took them to make it to Alexander’s.

  
“My dearest, Alex.” Eliza whispered to him, hovering by Alexander and gently brushing her hand over the flower in Alexander’s hair, this triggered Alexander to look up only to stumble backwards into the pile of glass, though he did not see John or Eliza he still seemed startled by Eliza’s ability to touch his flower.   
  
“I-I’m… I’m going… I-I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy I swear.” Alexander chanted to himself, curling into a ball and continuing to sob uncontrollably, John and Eliza could barely recognize their  _ Alex _ in the shell of a man in his living room.   
  
All John did was drift away into Alexander’s office and dip his fingers into the inkwell, John had never really understood why he was so different to other ghosts, yet he never complained when he could touch something other ghosts couldn't so he simply allowed his hands to get drenched in Ink before he floated back to the living room so he could sit behind Alexander and rub the ink all over his flower until it was a dark black.   
  
“I’m alone… I’m alone… I’m… I-I’ve always meant to be alone, I-I should just… stop…” Alexander’s head shot up, phasing right through John’s as he fell backwards onto the floor, John frowned and floated next to Alexander so he could lie down next to him, Eliza did the same on the other hand and wrapped her hand around his hand, even though is just barely phased through him.   
  
“I should stop.” Alexander whispered to himself once more, raising a finger up to his hair and running a hand through it until he hit the flower stuffed in there and lied there silently, almost uncontrollably he began to sob and hiccup.   
  
“I… I wanna see my…” Alexander started, tears pouring down his face as he rolled over, Eliza was inside of him and she politely floated away from him to give him space only to see Alexander start whining once more, John and Eliza both wrapped their ghostly limbs around him, even if they weren’t actually touching him and were more of just hovering their hands there to create the illusion it seemed to calm him unnaturally.   
  
“My beloved…s”  _ Alex _ added the s onto the end, John couldn’t help but avert his gaze to see Eliza’s but surprisingly enough she was smiling at the conclusion of the s in Alexander’s phrase, John was anything but upset with that reaction.    
  
“Maybe… I should… Write?” Alexander whispered to himself, sitting up like he was in a daze and beginning to stomp over to his study where John and Eliza both followed him with a sigh as they watched their soldier boy sit down and shakily pick up his pen through small sobs as Alexander began to shakily write out his note.   
  
_ This letter, my very dear Eliza, will not be delivered to you,  for illness had terminated your earthly career; to begin, as I humbly hope from redeeming grace and divine mercy, a happy immortality. _

_ If it had been possible for me to have avoided the unavoidable consequences of loving you, my dear for you and my precious children would have been alone a decisive motive. But it was not possible, without sacrifices which would have rendered me unworthy of your esteem. I need not tell you of the pangs I feel, from the idea of quitting and exposing our children to the anguish which I know you would have felt if you were still resting by my side. Nor could I dwell on the topic lest it should unman me. _

_ The consolations of Religion, my beloved, can alone support you; and these you have a right to enjoy. Fly to the bosom of your God and be comforted. With my last idea; I shall cherish the sweet hope of meeting you in your better world. _

_ I’ll see you soon, best of wives and best of Women. May our children live long lives _

_ Ever yours, eternally yours.  
_   
“C’mon Herc.” John whispered, reading over the letter again as Alexander drifted his way to the living room, Eliza just floated in the study, leaning over the note and biting her lip nervously.   
  
Alexander made his way to the living room, staring at the shattered glass that had been scattered across the floor, he ran his finger through his hair and brushed them against the flower in his hair as he bent over and cupped a sharp needle of glass in his hand.   
  
“No.” John stated, grabbing the glass from his hands and throwing it away, not thinking of the consequences it may have on Alexander’s mind or mental states, he stuttered back and grabbed another piece, John smacked it out of his hand once more, his own ghostly one beginning to bleed as Alexander kept grabbing the glass and raising it to his open mouth only to have it fly off moments later, Alexander kept getting more and more frantic.   
  
“Let me go.” Alexander begged, dropping to his knees and scooping up more and more glass, Eliza couldn’t bare to watch John’s frame get even more tattered by his persistence to keep  __ Alex safe until Hercules had arrived.   
  
Hercules wasn’t fast in the slightest, Alexander had given up with the glass at this point and had shuffled to the kitchen only to be shocked to see all the knives in his kitchen were gone or floating to a place he couldn't reach, he truly was persistent, though, for he quickly ran to his bedroom and ripped the sheets off his bed, tying it in a way John didn’t approve of, he yanked it out of Alexander’s arms with a bit of a fight, Eliza helped pull John’s arm which seemed to help him strength-wise and Alexander was left as a small sobbing mess in his bedroom.   
  
“Let me go.” Alexander whispered once more, his voice was raw and broken as the two ghosts floated in front of him, Alexander was staring John straight in the eye but seemed to still be staring right through him.

  
John turned away from Alex as the door knocker at the front of the building banged roughly, Alexander didn’t move or even seem to notice the banging outside his home, John shot a concerned glance at Eliza as she hovered next to Alexander on the bed and shooed John away.   
  
\--   
  
Herc’s brain was racing at this point, the entire horse ride was confusing and blurry to him, his dead friend had just broken two perfectly good candle holders and soiled his walls to warn him, if he’d been dead for so long how come he hadn’t told Hercules he could do all of that yet? But what was besides the point, Hercules had began banging on the knocker for a solid minute with no response from Alexander, chills ran down his spine.   
  
_ Click _   
  
The door had unlocked wordlessly and began to slowly creek open, Hercules bit his lip hard, blood beginning to seep through it as he passed through the house, stopping for a moment to look into the living room, blood, ink, glass scattered across the floor, Hercules could feel his throat begin to close as he began to sprint toward the bedroom.   
  
“Alexander?” Hercules asked, his voice shrill and nervous as he stopped dead in his tracks at Alex’s doorframe, he looked miserable, too miserable, he’d only seen Alexander like this once before, at John’s funeral.   
  
“What are you doing here!?” Alexander shot up onto his feet much too quickly, he stumbled for a moment like an alcoholic man, his eyes bloodshot and puffy, hands quivering unnaturally for a man with such precision at his craft and overall activities.   
  
“I- Alex what happened?” Herc hadn’t called Alexander by his ‘nickname’ name in ages, causing him to flinch and stumble backwards.    
  
“Where’s El- oh.” Herc covered his mouth with one of his hands, Alexander hung his head low ad began to make small pained whines as the older man stepped forwards to give Alexander a tight embrace, he struggled at first to free himself only to melt into the hug.   
  
“S-s-she… S-she’s… G-g-g-g… H… H-Hercu… S-she…” Alexander’s body was racked with sobs and tiny blood-curdling screams, Hercules clung to the younger man like his life depended on it, like if Alexander let go he’d be gone just like John and his wife.   
  
“Can you breathe for me Alexander? I know it’s hard but just try your best and breathe I have a few questions.” Hercules said in a sweet breath, Alexander was doing anything but breathing at this point, just sputtering and sobbing.   
  
“I know… I know… Breathe with me Alexander, one… two… in… out…” Hercules chanted the letters  _ Alex _ used to respond to when they were early friends, just a boy fresh from Nevis, no family, nobody left- though he was still happy, everything had been right for once in his life, then once more, his family had been taken from him once more…    
  
“Good… You’re doing great.” Hercules rubbed a few gentle circles into Alexander’s back until his breathing was steady and even, it almost sounded like he was cooing under his breath like a young child, or maybe even a young stallion with the wobble of his weak legs and heavy stance.   
  
“Okay, we’re going to just take this slow, question by question…” Hercules gently guided Alexander to his comfortable bed and began to lie him down comfortably, fluffing his pillow and sitting by his side so they could begin asking questions.   
  
“Alright… Do you know where your children are?” Hercules asked, brushing some of Alexander’s hair away from his cheek, remembering the times  _ Alex _ had worn his hair in a fluffy ponytail tied up by his ears, he enjoyed the way it bobbed whenever his horse galloped or how it accidentally hit John or Laf when Alex was bad drunk and swaying all over the place.   
  
Now Lafayette had just gotten out of prison and John was talking to him with ghostly ink messages and Alex had been replaced with the more melancholy case known as simply Alexander.   
  
“...P-P-Peggy.” Alexander stuttered out, shuffling so he could face away from Herc with an ashamed look glued onto his features, Hercules could tell he was holding back tears even if he couldn't see his face.    
  
“Do you have any sort of maid to help clean you up or would you like me to do that for you?” Herc asked, last time he’d been at the Schuyler-Hamilton home they had a skinny boy cleaning their dishes with a fake smile on his face just like Cato used to give him and Hugh before he had been released.    
  
“N-no.” Alexander whispered faintly, tossing and turning around on the bed, Hercules sighed and gave Alexander a small pat on the shoulder as he stood to clean the living room, the moment he stepped into the place brought back a few unwelcome memories.    
  
_ “SHUT UP” Alex had thrown a china dish on the floor, he was yanking his hair and grabbing more and more objects had began to shatter on the rough wooden ground of the Major General’s house.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Alex, I know it’s hard son but just try to-” Washington had tried to calm his aide down only to have him flip a chair over and scream, Hercules and Lafayette stood silently in the corner, both seemingly guilty for whatever had caused Alex’s outburst. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “IF YOU GAVE ME COMMAND MAYBE BEN WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN CAPTUR-”  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Alex that’s enough!” Washington had enough of Alex’s screaming for one day and had simply grabbed Alex by the shoulder and drag him into another room, waving off to a nameless man to clean the residue he had left behind only for Herc to step in and clean it so the other man didn’t have to. _ _   
_ _   
_ “Christ…” Hercules murmured to himself as he stared at the clean floor, a lone, hovering cloth scrubbing the bloody residue up, the glass had all been shoved into a small, bloody box and the painting of Philip had been re-hung over the dent Alexander had made in a wall, a messy paper was left on the chair as the rag lifted from the ground and seemed to point over in the note’s direction, Herc swallowed into a dry throat and stepped towards the note.    
  
_ I got you covered - J.Laurens  _ __   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John Laurens A+ ghosting


	3. You Make me Happy When Skies are Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just want John and Eliza to be happy dammit!
> 
> oh and Alexander... Right...

“John… We need to talk…” Eliza whispered, John had spent the entire day cleaning up the Hamilton household as Hercules tried to calm Alexander down enough to function, he had no time to really think or talk to Eliza or Philip.  
  
“About what…?” John placed down a pot gently back in its original spot as a loud scream sounded from the other room, John and Eliza both winced as they floated out of the home for a minute or two.  
  
“I- well, Alexander… No… Alex, you and Alex to be more specific.” Eliza spoke in a hushed tone, almost ashamed it seemed as she flattened out a corrugate in her dress, John crossed his arms together, almost not noting the new spate of blood pooling down his lip.   
  
“You’re bleeding…” Eliza pouted, floating over to John so she could gently remove the blood from his mouth before it grew physical, John flinched for a moment but in the end, let Eliza clean him up as he stayed silent for a good five seconds.  
  
“Sorry,” John muttered, only loud enough for Eliza to just barely register, but she turned to look at his face with a smile before pulling him into a friendly hug.   
  
“I’m the one that should be apologizing, John…” Eliza whispered once more, pulling away from John so he could recollect himself, his entire body seemed a bit more beaten down and messy, his hair sprung out all over the place, though he was only a ghost he looked exhausted.  
  
“Anyways… What did you want to talk about regarding me and Alex?” John asked, floating to the ground to take a seat on the ground, he took a deep breath in and stared up at Eliza, waiting for him to continue.  
  
“I- okay, well, silly question, were you and Alex still together when we got married? I’m not mad if you did…” Eliza fidgeted with her hands as she sat next to John.  
  
“We were… Alex and I had a few nights where we did stupid things, had sex a few times and drank a few beers and woke up with hickeys, I’m sorry…” John admitted, hanging his head low as he made an uncontrollable smile, thinking back to the times when the word belonged to him and Alexander alone.   
  
_“You’re hot” Alex had drunkenly stated one night in the campsite, he was being held up by Lafayette_ as _he bubbled and laughed_ _only to lunge himself into John’s arms and purr wildly, straddling his legs around John’s waist as he was carried back to the two’s tent._ _  
__  
__“Alex, you’re drunk,” John stated as Alex had tackled him into their shared bed, Alex only stuck out his tongue and continued to pull John closer to him and pepper woozy kisses all over John’s freckles._ _  
__  
__“Heyyyy beautiful, what are we doing in my bed?” John had slapped Alex with a pillow at this point and allowed the wasted boy to giggle his lungs out on the bed as John went to fetch Alexander some water, only to come back an hour later_ _giggling just as much as Alex had been._ _  
__  
__“You and I, right now baby.” John flopped onto the bed and the two giggled to each other as they both absent-mindedly kissed each other through the night._ _  
__  
_ “Did Alex ever… Do anything harmful with you or anything, how did he act around you?” Eliza shuffled almost uncomfortably in her sitting position, sheepishly staring at the ground, awkward by asking such personal questions.  
  
_“John, okay hear me out, what you and I write a musical together and perform as two girls, rather funny, wouldn’t it seem? I’ve heard your voice and you sing like an angel, and I can write my mind out as much as I want to so we could easily do it-” John giggled to himself as Alex played with John’s curls with care._ _  
__  
__“We’d make very beautiful ladies, Alex,” John admitted, thinking of all the possible outfits he could wear on stage._ _  
__  
__“When the war is done, we should do that.” Alex smiled like the war was no more than a day or two long._ _  
__  
__“When the war is done.” John had repeated._ __  
  
“He was… Funny, hilarious! He just cracked jokes and wrote me poems in between his essays, sometimes he got very philosophical and just passionate! He loved being who he was, he loved the threat of war looming over us both and laughed in the face of everything.” John sang out all the praises he could think of when he thought of Alex.  
  
“Wasn’t he worried about being hanged for…” Eliza nodded over at John’s lips to explain her point wordlessly.   
  
“Our relationship? No, he never was, he was very adamant about it with Herc and Laf even though I begged him to keep it between us.” John said, humming a small tune under his breath as he began to allow the ghost wind pick him up and carry him around, Eliza right beside him.  
  
“Did he ever tell you about... Before you died?” Eliza eyed the ground to enhance her silence once more, John paused to consider this before nodding silently, the two just floated over the city together, hands intertwining with each other’s.  
  
“I’m sorry for taking him from you, John,” Eliza whispered, John only nodded, waving his hand in the air as a note of acceptance, something Eliza couldn’t find yet.

“Don’t be, ever, he loves you, Elizabeth,” John responded, the two staring at each other with huge smiles on their faces as they squeezed each other’s hand harder.  
  
“Any more questions?” John asked, nudging Eliza playfully as the two began to drift in the wind.   
  
Eliza considered this, staring blankly at John for a few moments, she truly had many questions about the afterlife but she settled on a question that had been in her head since she arrived in the afterlife and saw John for the first time.   
  
“What… Happened to your body?” Eliza said through her teeth, only to see John smile almost regardfully as he ran a hand through his ghostly locks, contemplatively snapping his fingers as if to recall an old memory.   
  
“Well, if you mean my mangled frame that’s from getting trampled over by flocks of clumsy horses as I breathed my last breaths, it’s a fuzzy memory, hurts a bit to think abo-” John’s words clot in his throat as he began to heave and cough up a bit of blood, Eliza stopped their little journey to clean him up again.   
  
“That happens every time I recall the memory, hah, sorry- anyways, if you wanted to know why I have flowers growing out of my eye… Well… Basically, when I died, I took people with me and their thoughts stick with me in the form of flowers, as in spiritually, my daughter, wife and…” John gestured down to the city below his feet, Eliza nodding in realization as she stared down at the ground, something about the whole ordeal confused her, she felt insignificant with no flowers, Philip had none though Angie was left at bedrest after his death, she raised a finger to ask why only to have John grab it and gently lower it.

“It’s because I’m a sinner, Eliza, trust me, you do not want these, they hurt like hell, I’ve tried to open that eye for ages since I’ve been here and every time I try I have a huge fit and remember so many things, it’s because I’m a sinner and I dragged everyone down because of it. They play with my emotions and exhaust me, then again, I deserve it, don’t I?” John turned away from Eliza as he spoke, biting his lip and completely throwing off the entire mood of the conversation.  
  
“John…” Eliza whispered, pulling him into a tranquilizing hug that the two melted into, John shamefully hanging his head low as they both enjoyed the embrace they shared.  
  
_“Philip Hamilton, a pleasure to meet you.” John had welcomed, it had only been a couple of years yet now Philip was in heaven for picking on a Mr. George Eacker, something about the thought of Alexander plagiarizing his desires for love only to have his son get killed set badly in John’s mind, Alex wouldn’t ever shut up about his honor yet there Alexander was, destroying it._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Who are you?” Philip asked, taking a dainty step over to the crab apple tree where John had began to reside in after the pamphlet, his eye ached and groaned every single second he tried to think._ _  
_ _  
_ _“John Laurens, your father’s old friend.” John slowly began to stand, only to quickly regret it by falling to his knees, all the pain from his death coming back to him, his rib snapping, bullet fresh in his lungs, blood seeping through his teeth as he hacked and wheezed for air._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Are you alright?!” Philip had asked, rushing to John’s aid as he just lost it, his hands hurt and brain sounded off many alarms, a voice in his head calling for his son, begging for John to send Philip back, but John couldn’t, he was only a poltergeist._ _  
_ _  
_ _“G-gimme a sec, kiddo.” John whispered, Philip backed off as John slowly began to get to his feet, panting heavily and searching for something to lean on, luckily Philip was there to lean on, this kid had never hurt a soul, yet there he was in limbo with a bloody texture just like John’s._ _  
_   
_“I think we should catch up, I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time, Philip.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been listening to Candy Store the entire time writing this and frankly, it's hard to be emotional when you're yell-singing about candy stores but HERE I AM WITH EMOTIONS.


	4. You'll Never Know Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to shove Hamilton to his workplace because it's 10 and I'm dead inside

“Good afternoon Hamilton…” James Madison greeted, waving a distant wave at Alexander as he trudged through the halls with sunken shoulders, Hercules was behind him with a hand on his back as they both marched through the hallways all the way to Alexander’s office, his desk was overflowing with stacks of finished papers, ink splatters and a tiny stack of opened letters that Hamilton had yet to read.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine without me, Alexander?” Hercules asked in a hushed voice, Alexander gave Herc a tired nod with a forced smile, Hercules put on a concerned look before leaving Alexander to his lonesome with his stack of letters.

Alexander took a deep breath before plunging into his first letter, from Lafayette, right, he was also going to come and see him and El- no… No she wasn’t there, Alexander quickly dropped the letter onto the table and plugged his ears, leaning back in his chair and tuning out everything around him, Herc had taught Alexander how to do that yesterday, it was helpful to an extent.

“She’s not here…” Alexander whispered, this was his life now, a single father of fiv- no, he couldn’t even see all five of his children anymore, Angie was sent to bedrest for the rest of her life, locked in a blank white carriage and Lizzy had been sent to life with Alex’s father-in-law while the other kids simply stay a night there, Alex would have to pick them back up after work.

“Well, well, well if it isn’t Alexander Ham- Alexander?” Jefferson paused, strolling into Alexander’s office unannounced to stare at the immobile treasury secretary. Jefferson’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion as Alexander removed the fingers from his ears to blankly stare at Thomas.

“What the hell is up with you?” Thomas remarked, staring at Alex’s lifeless and drained features, he looked like he had woken up from the dead a few minutes ago and still has no clue what’s happening. 

“Work.” Alexander responded giving a weak thumbs up to Thomas only for him to snatch Alex’s hand into his own.

“What the hell? Why are there cuts all over your hands?” Jefferson pointed out all the faint cuts that had been left behind from his scramble to get the glass before ‘the wind’ moved it out of his hand, Alex thought back to the moment with a wide-eyed expression like he had been a deer caught in headlights.

They’re dead.

“Hamilton?” Jefferson asked, releasing Alex’s hand as Alexander guided his hands back to his ears to plug them before closing his eyes and whining audibly, Jefferson stood there dumbfounded like he had just seen a ghost, he’d never seen Hamilton cry.

“Hamilton? Are you alright? You’re scaring me…” Jefferson remarked, kneeling down to reach Alex’s height as he sat in his chair, shaking in fear as tears pooled down his cheeks.

“E-E-Eliza… S-s-she’s g-gone…” Alexander whispered, Thomas’s pupils shrunk in horror, he could actually relate to Hamilton for once, Thomas recalled when he had first heard his beloved wife died, he bit his lip hard as he whispered comforting things to his enemy.

“Why did you even come to work, moron, Washington would have given you as much time off as you needed! You have six kids for god sake- oh no… Wait… You have five, sorry.” Jefferson apologized as Alexander began to whine even more, whispering a name Thomas had never heard.

“Laurens… Laurens…” He repeated, Thomas raised his eyebrow to recall a ‘Laurens’ figure in his brain, he could only think of Henry Laurens, maybe he had a son Alexander was friend’s with, after all, Alexander had too many war buddies to count and Thomas had met almost all of them when Alex came stumbling into the office with drinks in his hand and a bunch of his drunk buddies cheering him on.

“Do you want me to try and find Laurens for you? What’s his first name?” Jefferson asked, shaking Alex gently as a stray paper drifted to the middle of the desk and Alex’s quill lifted up gently to scratch down a message for Jefferson, Thomas’ head cocked over to the quill as he screamed and dropped to the ground, backing away from the letter as Alex began to scream himself.

I’m John Laurens, I died years ago, Elizabeth Schuyler is with me, she’s also recently died as you are aware of, please be aware of Alexander’s sensitivities, you’re a smart man, you know better than to treat him incorrectly in his grief, alright? -J.Laurens

“Hamilton! Jefferson! What is going on in here!?” Washington flung the door open, James Madison and John Adams at his side as they all took in the scene, Jefferson screaming at a motionless letter and Alexander sobbing with his fingers shoved into his ears.

“Christ…” John Adams whispered, rushing over to Jefferson to comfort him as Washington made his way over to Alexander, leaving Madison with the letter, he lifted it up to his face and read the letter to himself, chills running down his spine, he knew who John Laurens was and he’d seen the letters, he’s seen John’s handwriting and that was it.

“Oh my god…” James whispered to himself, Jefferson had calmed down just enough to get a phrase out of his voice.

“G-g-ghost papers and… A-Alex’s w-wife…” Jefferson whispered to Adams, he turned to Washington for some kind of input but all he did was cradle Alex closer in his arms, holding Alexander like he was a small child close to his chest.

“Could any of you be so kind as to assist Alexander back to his home?” Washington glared at all of the men in the room as James Madison sighed and took Alex’s hand in his own and began to lead the shaken man out of the room, handing the letter to John Adams before leaving completely. 

“Who’s John Laurens?” Washington and Jefferson both stared at Adams dumbfoundedly as George snatched the letter out of Adam’s hand before dropping it on the ground in terror.

\---

“Alright, gentle, careful Hamilton.” Madison instructed, the taller man leaning on his shoulder with weak knees, he shook and bit his lip at every step, his legs acting more like Jell-O in his distressed walk back to his household.

“I need to pick up my kids…” Alexander whispered to Madison, he nodded and gently pat Alex on the back as they reached his house, James leading Alexander in before setting him down in his chair.

“Alright, I can go pick your kids up if you’d like me to, where are they right now?” James asked, taking a handkerchief from his pocket to dab Alex’s tear-stained face with before sneezing into the cloth.

“S-Schuyler mansion w-with my sister-in-law Peggy…” Alex choked out, clinging to the chair like it was keeping him from disappearing from the world entirely.

“Alright, they’ll be here in a bit, stay strong Hamilton.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE KIDS ARE COMING


	5. How Much I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAMKIDS HAMKIDS

“Daddy?” William tugged on Alexander’s coat a few times as he lied, passed out at his desk with messy hair, Philip Jr and James were watching as William tried his best to wake up his exhausted father.   
  
“DAD!” William jumped into Alex’s lap and planted a kiss on his cheek, waking up a groggy Alexander who stared at his son with a defeated expression, William frowned as Alexander pulled him close and began to sob into his hair, James and Philip Jr running over to comfort their father as best as they could.   
  
“Papa we have guests over…” James whispered quickly snapping Alex back to his senses as he shakily tried to stand up, William quickly climbing off of his father and allowing him to catch his breath, Philip Jr handing Alexander his lucky handkerchief before they all dragged Alexander into the living room where his current eldest son John and Alex Jr had been serving tea to none other than Aaron Burr.   
  
“Burr.” Alexander gruffed, making his way into the living room with the help of James and a frantic Alex Jr.   
  
“Alexander, good sir, you look like hell.” Burr noted, taking a sip of his hot tea only to stick his tongue out and frantically try and swallow down the feeling of a singed tongue, he had obviously forgotten the Hamilton tradition of everything-being-too-hot.    
  
“Thank you for reminding me.” Alexander responded with none of his sarcastic edge that he always spoke with, Aaron looked at Alex with a concerned expression, he wasn’t going to beat around the bush, he knew exactly why he was there.

 

“I just came to check up on you Alexander, the… Whole ordeal was all over the news and Madison was explaining to me how you were at work-” Alexander waved his hand at Burr, biting tears down behind his eyes.   
  
“Spare me the talk.” Alexander whispered, staring at Burr with wide eyes as he stepped over and pat Alexander’s shoulder, nodding at him before stepping out of the living room and out of the house, that’s when Alexander began sobbing hysterically once more, the kids all rushing to his aid so they could cover him in quilts and light the fireplace, only to notice the fireplace had been lit all by itself.   
  
\---   
  
“Pops…” Philip whispered, floating over to his father and pretending to place his hand on his father’s cheek, John had just finished lighting the fireplace, Eliza had gone off to check on Lafayette’s situation, praying he was close enough to America so Alexander could cope with his close friend, though the arrival of Burr was a pleasant surprise it wouldn’t be enough to keep Alexander ticking, nor would his abundance of comforting sons.    
  
“John, can you do anything about this?” Philip asked, floating towards the poltergeist who shrugged, pulling the blanket so it covered Alex’s shoulders as well, a place the other kids seemed to have missed.    
  
“I’m a poltergeist, not a counsellor, unfortunately my dear Philip- christ, ow…” John stumbled right into Philip who quickly rested John up against the wall, frowning as he watched his siblings dash around the room trying to find ways to help his dad, Philip wanted to yell into their ears in hope that they’d listen  _ dad needs to write, get dad something warm to drink with whipped egg whites like mom used to make, go get Jefferson’s recipe for those pastries he makes!  _ But he couldn’t Philip had no power over what his siblings did.   
  
“John, do you need anything?” Philip asked, brushing John’s hair out of his face with his hand, he hadn’t had one of his episodes since the one he had when Eliza first came, when Alex begged John to send Eliza back just like he did with Philip, he was paralyzed with fear when he heard that voice.   
  
“Gimme a sec kiddo.” John grunted, shuffling in his sitting position as he tried to drown out the voices stuck in his head, Alex begging to meet his kids, begging John to write, begging for Eliza and Philip and crying, just like Alexander was, sobbing hysterically.    
  
But besides all of the cries, John stood (with Philip’s help) and shuffled to Alexander’s office, picking up Alex’s quill and getting a good grip before turning to Philip.   
  
“What does your father need?” John asked, staring Philip in the eye like he had heard Philip’s thoughts earlier, who knows, he might have, John was mysterious like that. Philip spoke of all the things he previously thought about and watched as John scribbled down it in a list form.   
  
_ Alexander Hamilton emergency comforting list _

 

  * __Paper and quills, he needs to write__


  * _Warm beverage with whipped egg whites_


  * _Pastries/sweet and warm snacks (Ask Thomas Jefferson at Alex’s work for some)_


  * _Physical Affection_



 

_ Take care of him! - A.Burr _ _   
_ __   
“Why did you sign it as Aaron Burr’s letter?” Philip asked as John began to float the letter through the house, making sure none of the kids saw it float as he drifted it out onto the kitchen counter only for it to be found by Philip Jr.   
  
“So they don’t freak out knowing it’s their father’s old boyfriend and their eldest sibling contacting them from the dead, I only sign as myself if they’re assholes or my friends.” John explained as Philip Jr showed the list to John Hamilton who quickly whispered something into James’ ears and watched him sprint out of the house at top speed.   
  
Now all the kids were hard to work, William and Philly working on whipping egg yolks to put into some sort of drink concoction Alexander would probably be forced to drink, none of the boys knew how to cook as Eliza always cooked dinner for them and now Alexander was deemed useless out on the couch passed out once more.   
  
“Do you think dad’s gonna be alright?” Philip whispered to John, he bit down a breath before shaking his head no. 


	6. Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost over!!!

“Excuse me, are you Aaron Burr? Sir?” A chipper voice rang through Aaron’s ears as he quickly turned on his ears, hoping for a minute he was back in 1776 with a young Hamilton shaking his hand, everything was good back then, everything was oblivious before Alex’s life came crashing down and he brought everyone with him.   
  
Instead he saw James Jr bobbing up and down on his feet impatiently, Burr smiled and nodded at the boy and watched his features relax quickly, there was a small note in his grasp and a look of distress behind his features.   
  
“Could you point me in the direction of a Thomas Jefferson, sir?” James asked, Aaron’s expression quickly shifted to confusion, Alexander had been sent home for something so what exactly did they need Jefferson for, maybe they weren’t aware of their relationship but if it was his request he may as well try and help.   
  
“Do you know where your father’s workplace is?” Burr asked, shifting his weight onto another leg as James nodded, Burr let out a sigh of relief.   
  
“Well, if you wander for a bit you’ll find someone in the office and ask where Jefferson is, say Burr sent you and they’ll take you right to him, if you run into someone with a very obnoxious purple suit and puffy hair, that’s the man you want.” Aaron watched as James’ face lit up as he began to bounce forwards before pausing.   
  
“Thank you mr. Burr! Thank’s for writing the note as well, it’s really helpful! We’re all grateful for it!” James skipped away with that note, leaving Burr confused and anxious.   
  
“What note?”   
  
\----   
  
“Mr. President- I’m just saying this is all ridiculous! Someone had to have pulled a prank on Alexander to freak him out after his wife died and then they seemed to involve me in it-” Jefferson was cut off by a sharp glare from Washington, his eyes held fear and sorrow.   
  
“Jefferson, look, it’s not out of the picture, but I knew John Laurens, this is his handwriting, this is his signature! John’s works are rare to come across since he only really wrote notes and Alexander published them in his off time, so if this was simply a joke to pull on a tortured soul they’d have to know John well.” Washington had to hold back tears every time he said John, thinking back to when he had first seen Alexander back when John first died.   
  
_ “Son, I came to ask you a question, it’s rather important.” Washington had pushed open Alexander’s door a young seven-year-old Philip pawing at the president’s biceps with a giggle- that was until he saw his father. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Hamilton?” Washington had looked at the eyes on his old aide-du-camp and saw sadness in them, his spark seemed to have been lost, his fire burnt down to nothing more than a scintillation as he dragged his exhausted hand across his papers, the bags under his eyes obvious and his frame begging for food that Alexander simply did not have the ‘time’ to eat. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Alex, you look exhausted, come eat with your family.” Washington moved over to help the man up, watching him try and scratch a final few words on pained both the president and Philip as they forced Alex out into the hall. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “I’m Alexander.” _ _   
_ _   
_ “Sir?” Jefferson had a confused tone as he gently nudged Washington until he came back to his senses, George waved a hand off at the secretary of state with his large smile and folded his hands together.   
  
“You all may think of me as mad for what I am about to do.” Washington whispered as he walked over to his desk to grab a quill and paper before setting it down on the ground, the crew all circled around it and waited, and waited, and waited.   
  
Then the quill picked up and began to itch phrases into the paper as the White house crew began to choke on air and make loud distressed noises, hiding behind tables and chairs as only Washington stood still when the message had been completed.   
  
_ Good afternoon gentlemen,  _ _   
_ _ As you are aware, I had set up and wrote the first letter to Jefferson when he seemed to be poorly handling Alexander’s distress, I only mean good intentions in my incorporeal actions and wish to aid rather than to make matters more stressful on you. _ _   
_ _   
_ __ If you are alright with my presence I will be able to write updates, letters and answer most questions directed at me, I sincerely apologise for the overwhelming amounts of stress I have caused you all 

 

_ -J.Laurens _ _   
_ _   
_ “My god…” Jefferson whispered in a tiny voice as Washington had read the letter out loud before walking over to his desk to grab even more papers and the entire inkwell and set it up on the floor, the cabinet members all scurried back to their seats to curiously watch the paranormal Colonel answer questions.   
  
“Can you hear us speaking?” Madison asked John even though he couldn’t exactly see him, he was less shocked to see the pen begin to drift across a paper writing out a clean  _ yes. _ _   
_ _   
_ “Are you aware of any ways we could possibly help Secretary Hamilton?” Jefferson spoke in his southern drawl and watched as another paper floated on top of the one with the yes and began to etch out an eerie message.   
  
__ If you can keep him from taking his life early, he’ll live in constant agony, the only way he could be cured forever is death, but I do not want that though it would give me more company in the afterlife, I’d recommend you do all that James Jr is about to say.   
  
They all quickly stared at Madison for something, he shrugged with a confused look on his face as the large door began to creak open, cabinet members all quickly jolting and yelping to see James Hamilton open the door and wave awkwardly, that’s when they all looked back to see the letters had floated their ways back to the desk, they all stared at the young man in horror.   
  
“Mr. Jefferson, do you have a recipe for those sweets my father liked when he was at Monticello?” James Jr had an innocent smile on his face as Washington ushered him inside and he scurried over to Jefferson with an anxious expression overlapping his innocent one.   
  
“Yeah, wanna come with me for a second?” Thomas smiled and stood up, towering over the young boy by a few feet, surprisingly enough he was taller than his father though and Jefferson had to suppress the laughter he wanted to let out at the realization as he lead the boy away.   
  
\---    
  
“Father, drink up.” Johnny requested, cupping the warm drink with the whipped egg yolks into his father’s shaking hands as he began to guide it up to his lips, he stepped back and watched Alexander robotically downed the drink with a sagging expression.   
  
William grabbed the cup from Alex’s hand and quickly placed a hard wooden tablet on his lap and directed an inked quill and paper into his hands, Alexander quickly began to etch things into the page in messy handwriting, the boys all circled around their father and began to hug him and gently rub circles into his shoulders and back.   
  
“It’s going to be okay…” Philly smiled planting a playful kiss on his father’s ear as he passed out on his desk, head falling straight onto the ink-splattered paper as he began to doze off in his children’s embrace.  


	7. Don't Take, my Sunshine Away...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I finished 2/3 finals and decided to wrap up this fic to celebrate, enjoy(?)

Lafayette had arrived in America once more on a rather eerie note, the previous colour from the entire city seemed to have been drained the moment he stepped foot into the harbour, multiple people were whispering to each other at his appearance with Adrienne by his side, a few ladies quickly bounding over and being rewarded with a gentle kisses placed on their hands.   
  
“Cela ne semble pas corriger…” Adrienne whispered as the two hitched a ride on the first wagon they saw, Lafayette sliding some currency over to the driver and watching his face light up like a christmas tree and begin to clop through the city, Lafayette could practically smell the dead air as they continued down the line.   
  
“Well, my dearest, I’m sure it is simply nostalgia from the war, besides, we will be bunking with the most enthusiastic man in the world, you’ve met Alexander, right?” Lafayette turned to his wife and smiled wide as she nodded, rolling her eyes at the tucked away memory of meeting Alex one time, the way he spoke with charm and flare was a real turn off for the more reserved Adri.

The two were eventually pulled up to the Hamilton household, the two dismounting their ride and thanking the driver as they hauled their luggage up to the front door and knocked on the door, waiting anxiously for their work-a-holic ball of energy to bound up to the door and allow them inside.  
  
Instead an anxious-looking boy opened the door with a sucked-in expression, his lip was chewed raw and hands fidgeting uncomfortably, looking relatively pale as Lafayette bent down to wipe a stray tear from the young boy’s cheek.  
  
“Bonjour! You must be William, are your parents here?” Lafayette watched as the boy choked down another sob and quickly scuttled inside, pausing to take a deep breath before gesturing the two in.  
  
“Goodness…” Adrienne whispered, tugging gently on Lafayette’s coat as the cheery young man strolled through the tattered home, he noticed the other Hamilton children scattered around the home doing various chores with Alex or Eliza nowhere to be found, that was until Lafayette was lead into the living room.  
  
“Bonjour Alex!” Lafayette quickly skipped over to Alexander, pulling him into a close embrace and kissing each of his cheeks, Adrienne chuckled heartily as Lafayette pulled away from Alex only to see him make small dazed sniffles, the bags under his eyes looked horrid and his entire body seemed tense.  
  
“Why are you here…” Alexander choked, quickly curling into himself with a horrid expression, Lafayette raised his eyebrow and ran a hand through the other man’s hair with a large smile still sitting there.  
  
“I told you months ago I would be here, you replied to my letters and everything! You look horrible, have you been sleeping?” Lafayette gently massaged Alexander’s shoulders with a confused expression as Alex just let out a gasp and quickly excused himself from the room, leaving Lafayette with a sudden swarm of children around him, the eldest one handed a small paper to Adrienne and whispered something into her ear.  
  
“Laf…” Adrienne hummed through closed teeth, handing Lafayette the letter as the kids all bounced around Laf or sobbed into his coat, Lafayette rolled over every words with a look of concern suddenly stretching throughout his face.  
  
“Alex!” Lafayette quickly dropped the message, picking up Philip Jr in a blinding motion of speed as he rushed towards the washroom, followed by only Alex jr, who offered to take the toddler out of Lafayette’s hands, he accepted and quickly pushed open the door.  
  
But instead of it opening like he assumed it would have it stayed put, Alex had pushed something up against the door and wasn’t planning on moving it, Lafayette cursed and pushed as hard as he could, the door only slightly moving .  
  
Adrienne quickly was at Lafayette’s side, the two beginning to shove whatever Alex leaned against it out of the way, enough for it to open up fully, the two quickly rushed into the room to see Alex had disappeared, the window was open.  
  
“Merde…” Lafayette grumbled peeking out of the window with a sour taste suddenly tanging his mouth, Lafayette and Adrienne quickly pushed past the children, promising they’d be back as soon as possible before running away.  
  
\---  
  
 _“John, let me write, John, let me…”_ Alex’s voice rang through John’s head like an alarm clock as he hovered a pen over paper, Washington staring at it with sad eyes as the pen began to shake and drop to the ground.  
  
“Be quiet…” John whispered, Alex wouldn’t stop talking.  
  
 _“John, John, it hurts, John, I want to join you, where am I going? No… No what’s happening to me? John why is it so dark now!?”_ John quickly stumbled onto the chair, it rocked slightly causing Washington to jolt up to look at it.  
  
“John? Are you still here?” Washington asked in a hushed voice, the poltergeist gripped his head with a groan and quickly climbed back onto the desk so he could gently shift the pen into his grip and jot down a message before Alex began yapping again.   
  
There were two things John truly knew about the mysterious flowers that had been grown into his body, one is that they caused him to hear voices, from his wife, daughter and (mostly) Alex, they occasionally cried and requested he do things.  
  
Two was that the voices could still know what exactly they were doing, it wasn’t usual for them to say something is dark unless they were awake while also sleeping, if that made any sense, but now it just seemed off, the voice yapping and requesting answers.  
  
 _“John, where am I going, oh god, wait, wait… What’s happening.”_ Alex kept begging, John groaned as Washington scanned over the letter and placed another paper down as a request for more information, so he wrote more, his hand quickly trembled for a moment as he jotted down something he didn’t even think of or remember thinking.  
  
 _“Let me write, let me write…”_ Alex whispered in his head, John grumbled loudly and scratched it out roughly, Washington’s face contorted in confusion as the pen began to slip from his grasp into a dazed hand and jot down things at a speed John only knew one person could pull off, but he just kept writing what he was saying, questions, begging for answers.  
  
“John, you’re scaring me.” Washington whispered, scanning over the messy handwork that Alex had left before John simply snapped at him, grumbling incoherently about how much of a nuisance he was being in that moment in time, it only took a moment for the voices in his head to numb to a whisper.  
  
 _My apologies, having difficulties._ _  
_ __  
Washington nodded at the floating quill, prompting it to drop from thin air, as it did so, John pushed in the chair he moved and began to exit the room before stopping for a moment to take a deep breath as four white petals fell from his face.  
  
Alex’s voice quickly began to fade from John’s head as the final petal fell to the ground, John’s entire body quickly felt relieved yet tinier, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he was stronger, John quickly clenched and unclenched his fists as Eliza quickly floated in.  
  
“John…” She whispered, floating towards him and running a hand down his cheek, what had just happened? John couldn’t figure out why the flower had just gone, until Eliza began sobbing hysterically into his chest, John’s eyes also welling up with the sensation of tears as they rushed to the crab apple tree.  
  
“ALEX!” Lafayette was screaming, shaking him back and forth for an answer, only to quickly press his hand on Alex’s chest and bend down for a pulse, John quickly hovered over Alexander’s limp body, making a choked breath as he began to rub the frozen hands of the man whom’s chest had been indented with a bullet wound, the pistol nearby.   
  
“Alexander…” Eliza whispered, taking a rough inhale as she quickly tapped John’s shoulder, his head sprung up to see a new ghostly figure floating just slightly by the crab apple tree. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, the universe here was really strange but if you have questions about it I will answer in full detail, i'd enjoy to hear any theories as well

**Author's Note:**

> :(((( sorry


End file.
